Never Have I done this… but I loved how I wrote my final response to this facebook question/note I had to keep it for all time! Read as I blast this chick into outerspace!
This is from Marcus Howelton III… ( I Highlighted My response all the way at the end… Don’t challenge NEIM unless you’re prepared.)
Marc writes…
Nevertheless, I came across the following quote this morning that sums up my views on marriage succinctly, and what it really means and why I’m just not ready.
“A wedding is an event — a marriage is a lifelong commitment. One asks you to be an adult in your choices — the other, a child.”
Simply put, anyone can get married. I think the quote oversimplifies things a bit but not by much. It’s not hard getting a marriage license, having a ceremony and saying “i do” says nothing about one’s maturity, faithfulness and place in life. Basically having a wedding is child’s play. Getting married aka hitched aka tying the knot is NOT the same as having a “marriage.”
Same root word, totally different in execution and levels of dedication required for success.
To be honest I don’t think most people are honest in their assessments of themselves and how fit they are for marriage. If they were divorce rates wouldn’t be where they are, you wouldn’t have legions of unhappy people dreading to come home to their “life” partners and you wouldn’t have all of this infidelity in these “holy” unions. I think the underlying motivations for people getting married are a big part of the problem but that’s a discussion for another day.
Marriage can be a beautiful thing… I support the institution 100%, so please don’t take me to be cynic, but there’s something to be said for being real with myself and where I’m at as a person. Bottom line, quit asking me the damn question.
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What am I saying? I will be the picture of monogamy.
Marc, you getting soft in your old age…
*quickly moves away from window*
*runs*
@ Shaana…maybe I should have said SOFTER in his old age…as in, the hardness level of say, a ripe banana, to the softness of this message which is like month old bananas…feel me?
I got my hood stripes Shaana… The streets know me. I take tours on the weekends thru my old stomping grounds in Hillwood bay-buh! *throws up H*
@Anglea My bad dawg
*ignores anything Rhonda is talking about just on GP*
Hell… all sorts of beasts have monogamous relationships. Take the North American wolf for example. One partner for life. No wedding, yet the wolves are committed to one another for life.
People get married for all sorts of artificial reasons. That’s why the shyt doesn’t last. About 90% of the women I meet (mainly the good-looking ones) are looking for that “meal ticket”, not love. Most guys are looking for a Trophy or a girl to be their servant, not love.
…
Once people begin to see what’s real in life and one another, than there can be these blissful relationships that some of us used to dream about as kids. I once heard a girl tell me… “You can learn to love a man.” WTF? Because he has $$?!
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
God may know your heart…but meanwhile keep screwing each other’s brain’s out until the Viagra supply is fully depleted and the chick has dried up like the Sahara…I’m sure God understands that…
a piece of paper does not prove that two people will be faithful to one another…that piece of paper does however prove that two people have come together as one, specifially speaking as a legal entity…the monogamy only comes into play when 2 people actually want to be committed to one another…no piece of paper can make them do that…
and FYI, a true marriage does not exist without God in it…it’s kinda His institution and until people start recognizing that they will continue to fail epically at it…
*no bible thumper*
“…and FYI, a true marriage does not exist without God in it…it’s kinda His institution and until people start recognizing that they will continue to fail epically at it…”
World Population (as of 2005):
33% Christian (decreasing)
21% Islam (increasing)
16% Nonreligious ( Atheist, Agnostic, theist nonreligious)
14% Hindu
8% Other
6% Buddhism
6% Chinese Traditional
6% Primal-indigenous (incl African traditional/ Diasporic)
So I ask you… which “God?”
And what of the 16% of people who don’t particularly have one? Does it not exist or is it not valid for this group?
as for the percentage who don’t subscribe to a particular religion, it’s safe to assume they live a life of mostly good according to societal norms, which in most countries are based on the dominating religion.
aside from that aspect, i can agree that people tend to focus on the idea of mariagge (the ceremony) and not the actual application, however that does not mitigate the bond that ‘piece of paper’ represents. The same could be said for a college diploma.
you are an aethist, devil worshipper, Beezlebub B-boy, etc. the concept of civil union seems much more suitable than marriage does…
Don’t make me get creative, ok?
T. Boyd is scaring me “affixes index fingers to represent a cross”
*moves farther away from window*
I can agree with Nieman to a point; people get married for the wrong reasons and I believe your commentary states that. However, as a good looking woman (*ahem* Marcus can attest) that is NOT looking for a meal ticket, but for a man that God has prepared for her and ONLY her; paper is not what defines the relationship, but the covenant made before God. The paper is man-made, yet necessary in the event of sickness or death (which are apart of your marriage vows before God).
I think many women, myself included, have also had to mature past wanting the “wedding day” and to begin preparing for marriage as a life partner and true help-mate. Enjoy your banana!
(Shameless Plug)
http://muzzlewump.com/blog/2007/11/19/the-truth-is-it-in-you/
Marc, you’re an azzhole…you might as well start prepping for your elderly role by stocking up on canes to shake at the neighborhood kids whenever they get close to your lawn…
Neighborhood grumpy (drunk) old man with a bad liver…my crystal ball never lies! Don’t worry…I’ll be down the street starring as the Candy Lady…*goes to Sam’s Club and Costco to stock up on quarter waters, snack sized bags of chips, and other hood candy staples such as Nah’laters and Chick o Sticks*
(More Shameless)
http://Muzzlewump.com/blog
Dear Neiman… Please don’t knock what you clearly have no knowledge of. If you don’t understand how God works then there is no need for the cynicism. Marriage was designed by God. People have ruined its sanctity by putting superficial needs before what should actually be first. I think this may be the “meal ticket” you speak of. You seem to think that “be together” is an answer/solution? When actually its part of the problem. That is so vague. Be together to what? Screw for a while? Make a baby? Go to dinner a few times? A life long marriage take a lot more than just “be together”. I guess that is why you can compare us to animals? They really don’t have to get to know each other they just “be together”.
Dear Tanisha & AJ… Well said. I totally agree. Tanisha I too, am fearful of clicking the links. Ya’ll were on point. Well I have never really seen the “azzhole” side of Mr. Howelton … Well Marc you didn’t respond to my email about Dubai …what’s up that??? Wait a flashback just popped in my head… I think I got pretty ticked off at you when you lived down the hall from me in those old a** dorms in summer school waaaaay back when.
Speaking for myself … a wedding is an event that I can do without. I wouldn’t mind a SMALL ceremony. I don’t by into the whole bridesmaid thing. The last wedding I participated in was the last. I have friends that have this coveted day planned out from the colors the dresses to the napkins on the table. To me it’s quite hilarious when I remind them that they don’t even have a date for dinner … not to mention a boyfriend.
Marc, I hate choo for making me have to exercise my brain cells…
Personally, I’d love to be loved by a man as Christ loves the church. Money may be long, but life is short. Money can’t buy happiness, but faith can. Marriage may not be for all, but I hope it is for me. It only takes one other, of a like mind, to make that happen.
Screw the decisions of the many. This planet is being destroyed by all those who choose to disregard the effects their selfish ways have on it. One shouldn’t consider the actions of these same people when determining how to spend the rest of one’s life with a person they love. In other words, who the many choose to serve/not to serve is worthless information.
Needless to say, my marriage will be as personal as my relationship with God. I tend to Him as He tends to me, therefore, I’ll tend to him as he tends to me. It will be between us. “Nothing even matters, at all…”
@ Valerie Long
{“Dear Neiman… Please don’t knock what you clearly have no knowledge of.”}
You don’t seriously want to get into a theological battle with NEIM? Do you? I would turn your world upside down. Don’t mistake rationalism for cynicism. I am a connoisseur of knowledge. More so… the truth. The union between man and woman is just a natural one that predates recorded history. Even before there was organized religion.
Let me school you…
As hunter-gatherers settled down into agrarian civilizations, society had a need for more stable arrangements. The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman and one man dates from about 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage evolved into a widespread institution embraced by the ancient Hebrews, Greeks, and Romans. But back then, marriage had little to do with love or with religion.
(to be continued)
Marriage’s primary purpose was to bind women to men, and thus guarantee that a man’s children were truly his biological heirs. Through marriage, a woman became a man’s property. In the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greece, a father would hand over his daughter with these words: “I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.” Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives; married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while their wives were required to stay home and tend to the household. If wives failed to produce offspring, their husbands could give them back and marry someone else.
As the Roman Catholic Church became a powerful institution in Europe, the blessings of a priest became a necessary step for a marriage to be legally recognized. By the eighth century, marriage was widely accepted in the Catholic church as a sacrament.
(more…)
For much of human history, couples were brought together for practical reasons, not because they fell in love. In time, of course, many marriage partners came to feel deep mutual love and devotion. But the idea of romantic love, as a motivating force for marriage, only goes as far back as the Middle Ages. Naturally, many scholars believe the concept was “invented” by the French. Its model was the knight who felt intense love for someone else’s wife, as in the case of Sir Lancelot and King Arthur’s wife, Queen Guinevere. Twelfth-century advice literature told men to woo the object of their desire by praising her eyes, hair, and lips. In the 13th century, Richard de Fournival, physician to the king of France, wrote “Advice on Love,” in which he suggested that a woman cast her love flirtatious glances—“anything but a frank and open entreaty.”
It seems that your postulation that God created marriage is apocryphal.
(still more…)
Too often we just accept what we are told because we are too apathetic to do the research or challenge anything that seems out of place due to its acceptance as the law of the land. Most times we are just fearful of the truth because it is frightening to think that what we thought we knew is just smoke and mirrors.
It is sad that so many of us accept Authority as the Truth instead of Truth as the Authority. Oh, and please… don’t argue the Faith/Truth thing… Faith is the antithesis of Truth. It is simply to believe what you cannot prove whereas truth = proof.
Lack of knowledge… I scoff at your false avowal that I lack thereof.
“cuts it… stuffs it… rolls it… smokes it”