NEIM BLOG» Adventures

Star Trek

NEIM — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:18:20 +0000

I really didn’t know much about Star Trek. I mean… I knew the general premise and some of the character names, but not the real story. This new installment will surely garner some new fans and spawn a whole new generation of Trekkies.

The movie captures the idea of Star Trek. The entire movie is one giant space adventure. I highly reccomend that you go see it on IMAX. The scope of some of the shots are amazing and the soundtrack is moving!

Motorbike Adventures

NEIM — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 07:46:19 +0000

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Protected: Yo-Yo, Go-Go (Supliment to Motorbike Adventures Video)

NEIM — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 07:35:52 +0000

Phi Phi Island Video

NEIM — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:16:44 +0000

Our video compliment to our Phi Phi Island adventure!

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Vegetarian Festival Video

NEIM — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:25:19 +0000

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On the Level

NEIM — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:21:47 +0000

Since the title of my blog is “Life with NEIM” I guess I owe you this one. Tonight was ecstatic! It was Please Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

Touring Thailand: Day Nine

NEIM — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 09:49:09 +0000

Day Nine: Damn, its been so long I had to read my last entry! Lets see, where did I leave off… Oh yeah… the Party in Patong. After a longPlease Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

Tourin Thailand I – Video (Registered Users Only)

NEIM — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 18:57:31 +0000

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Protected: Party in Patong! (Select Subscribers Only)

NEIM — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:04:59 +0000

Touring Thailand: Day Eight

NEIM — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 09:41:55 +0000

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Day Eight:Finally we all get a well deserved good night of sleep. We slept so long we almost missed breakfast. Good thing KB is the responsible one. He got us up in time to chow down on those good omelets and rice. Kwan was all smiles as we passed by her office where she made reservations for the hotel guests to do the various activities around the island. I’m not sure if I mentioned

but she is 5 months pregnant and all smiles. Our buddy Bert was behind Please Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

Touring Thailand: Day Seven

NEIM — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 05:39:24 +0000

Day Seven: We wake up very early this morning. We are going on an expedition to Phi Phi Island. This Island has been used in a couple of movies and is considered to have one of the top 10 beaches in the entire world. We eat breakfast and wait on our driver to arrive to take us to another part of the island.

After being close to an hour late our driver arrives. We take off through the twists and turns of what are Phuket’s streets. Arriving at our destination there is probably another couple of hundred tourists waiting. We are grouped off in group orange. Little did we know we would have the best tour guide on the entire island. His name is Lucy. Yeah that’s right… Lucy. You have to see the video to see how much of an offbeat character he is. He is very entertaining.

KB and I decide to sit in the limited seating section of the speed boat which is located in the very front. We are joined by 3 Germans, 2 Australians, and a couple from London. We immediately become acquainted with them and have a great time in conversation all the way to the first island.

During the journey we get some great wide shots of the island and we kneel on the seats as to allow the wind to hit our face. It felt great. Once we arrived at the first island, we got a chance to marvel as to how beautiful nature really is. SEE PICTURES.

The rest of the trip consisted of snorkeling, swimming and me laid out on the beach sleep face first in the sand. I was tired.

Once back to Phuket we for some reason ran out straight to the beach. We were out there for about half an hour and changed clothes. After that, Nick had to go for a fitting for his suit and KB and I stopped at the local pool hall to use the internet connection. This is where Noi and Oy worked.

These chicks whole purpose on the island was to get us to buy as many drinks as possible for us and themselves. The internet connection was horrible at best. We didn’t get much done even except for getting drunk. Nick eventually joined us and this is where we met our little buddy Marlon.

Marlon is a 16 year old kid from New Zealand by way of Holland. We had seen him around the hotel a few times but we had never really spoken to either him or his mom. We talked a bit and became friends.

It was now getting late and we were growing drowsy. On the way back to the hotel we got a drunken idea to mess with some Lady Boys for shyts and giggles. After trying to coral every motorcyclist on the beach it seems to get our kicks, we finally landed one. This monstrosity slowed up and for some reason had a hard on for me. He stopped and said in this hideous voice, “I suck you. Make you cum. Only 300 baht baby!” The fellas were laughing, but it wasn’t at them, it was at me. Nick then asked how much for all 3 of us and was quickly met with a reply that we could all go at the same time. Sensing that a trick was to be made this Lady Boy parked its bike and started walking towards me. “I take you first and you can tell them how good I was.” I could take no more. I quickly ran across the street (literally) as Nick and KB were dying laughing. That was sick! Soon after, we decided to call it a night in preparation for our last one in Phuket the next day.

Touring Thailand: Day Six

NEIM — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 10:14:34 +0000

Refreshed we go down and eat breakfast. Afterwards we decided to walk down the beach to shop, use the phone and visit the ATM. Nick stops off first to look at some stuff in this collection of tents that form this little shopping area. KB goes down further to find a phone.

There is a lot of stuff in these stores. I decide that I need to get some stuff done on the computer and I leave to find KB. Walking down the boardwalk is no easy task. You are constantly asked to buy things along with do we want to get a taxi or took-took. So many people you have to say no to. They usually start with the line, “Where are you from?” I clearly look South African to them. That is to start conversation to lure you in to their stands and shops. Finally I find KB. He is talking to a tailor and I then tell him about this guy I met that seems to have some good stuff. We pass 2 more tailors before we can get to him. We didn’t walk 2 blocks.

The guy that we met name is Harry. We spend close to an hour getting KB fitted for a suit and I fitted for a shirt. The fabric is top notch and to get an entire suit tailored from some of the best fabric you can find costs only 5,000 baht. That’s a little less than $150!

Once our measurements are done, we look for Nick. He’s nowhere to be found. We head to the room and wait for awhile, but he does not arrive. Once we head out again, we see Nick next door as happy as can be. He was in the same place I left him for like 2 hours shopping. He bought a suit from this guy next door and had to ride with him to his other location to use his credit card. When I say ride with him I mean on the back of his motor bike.

Motorbikes are by far the most common way of transportation. I’ve seen whole families on them. I’m talking dad, two small children and mom rollin down the road @ 40mph! The shyt is insane how they ride side saddle and by 2’s and 3’s with no fear or helmet in the anything goes streets of Thailand. I can’t remember the last time I saw a traffic light or cop.

Nick and his buddy take off into the neighborhood of Karon. KB and I return to the hotel, relieved that we have finally found Nick. When we regroup, I suggest that we get some motorbikes to ride to Phuket. I sense hesitancy among my peers. This is my main goal of the day… to ride the motorbike.

We rest a bit and then it’s unanimous; we are getting the motorbikes. I’m stoked! I can’t wait to join in with the locals on the treacherous roads of Phuket. We walk down and talk to the lady in charge of extracurricular activities at the hotel, Kwan. Kwan is a very sweet 5months pregnant Thai woman. She is just like so many people down hear, very friendly and very helpful. She ends up giving us 50 baht off the price so that the rental comes out to be 200 baht each for 24 hours. That’s about $6.

I’m so excited and then it hits… rain. I am so disgruntled right now it shows on my face. We decide to try and wait it out by having something to eat at the hotel. The food at the hotel is pretty good. We all try Thai dishes. I must have ordered the spiciest soup in Thailand because after 3 minutes of eating my lips were numb. For the main course I had duck. I should have noticed that I didn’t see any ducks floatin around Thailand. The duck clearly came from the freezer, but I did not mind so much about the toughness of it. I was hoping the rain would dissipate before Nick and KB changed their minds on the motorbikes. Little did they know I was going to get one if they did or not.

We finish eating and the rain stops… perfect! We have already given Kwan the necessary documents to obtain the bikes so we grab the keys and a helmet and take off. Not immediately. The guys put on rain ponchos. All I needed were my sunglasses and Mohawk baby, lets ride!

We cruise down the coast with no problem, but the road connecting Karon Beach to Patong Beach was going up and down steep hills through the mountains and had curves throughout. It was like maneuvering a video game. Halfway through the mountains we saw elephants. We decided to stop and take pictures. These guys were riding the elephants similar to the way you would see someone riding a horse in the street back home in Texas. It was pretty cool. We hopped back on the road and eventually arrived in Patong.

Mind you, the traffic here goes to the left so were at a slight disadvantage to making natural decisions on the road. Plus the locals drove with no rules anyway so it was a trying experience to ride in traffic. We managed to get in with the huge flow of traffic that consisted of few cars, with took-tooks and motorbikes. We cruised all the way down the boardwalk. Let me tell you now. This place was sprawling with tourists! It was so busy around here that we were thankful for the quiet beach of Karon where we were staying.

We made it onto the second street about 4 city blocks away from the beach boulevard and were caught in a tourist trap. “Whistle!” a cop standing stopped us as we were riding down the street. He informed us that we had to have helmets on. He took the key to my bike and said we had to pay 300 baht a piece for the infraction. I was pissed. I asked why we could not get off with a warning. He gave me attitude and kept telling me to just pay. Cops! no matter where they are from are usually assholes! The first asshole we meet in Thailand is a f***ing cop! Go figure. KB and Nick took off on the motorbikes to the police station to pay the ticket and I hung back waiting for them. I was still livid, but that would soon change.

There were 3 girls standing behind me. One of them was especially attractive. They all marveled at my hair and asked to touch. They started talking to me and were telling me about how things worked out here, but not to worry. I explained to her that I was looking for an internet connection out here because I needed to get some work done. She instead let me sit in her little office just outside near the sidewalk and use her computer. Very nice gesture, but the connection sucked ass. I soon gave up and continued my conversation with them. One of them offered me squid on a stick and I accepted. It was rather tasty. It was coated with some sort of spicy sauce. There was another meat on the stick that I will just have to say tasted good.

Nick and KB finally arrived. They told me it was a slew of tourists in the police station all paying tickets. Gotta keep the economy going I guess. I said bye to the girls and then we put on our helmets and took off. I at this time became rather adept to riding through traffic. I was weaving in and out just like the locals. KB and Nick trailed behind me.

We road back to the beach to park our bikes; and then proceeded to go on foot. I found a space to the left of the road nearest to the beach. KB rolled up next. Nick somehow got stranded on the right side. After a few moments he decided to brave the traffic and cross to our side. He sped across right in front of this bus and that’s when it happened. The sand made him spin out just a bit and he lost controlled and went belly first into the pavement as if he were trying to steal a base (baseball). He got up rather quickly and we saw that he was ok. That gave the cue to laugh because that shyt was hella funny! I was laughing uncontrollably for at least 5-10 minutes. Nick has scratches on both legs and a nice red cherry on his left knee. Classic!

I immediately pulled out the video camera and recorded the whole ordeal. We had no first-aid kit so KB took out some mouthwash and told Nick to put it on his wounds. Nick took a swig and then doused his leg with the wash. At this point we were all laughing about the accident and then headed off down the boardwalk.

The boardwalk was bustling with tourists and people selling any and everything. We hit the main walking street that leads towards the other road parallel to the boardwalk. Lady Boys are an attraction here in Thailand. They are basically drag queens. We thought that they looked funny so KB and I decided to take a picture with them for shyts and giggles. Little did we know it would cost us 100 baht. Everything is for sale in Thailand.

We pushed all the way through this madness and arrived back at the point where we received our citations. Nick wanted to find a shirt with all Thai writing on it. I saw the girls again and they told us to hit the mall across the street. It was similar to the malls back home. KB and I stopped in the New Balance shoe store and were immediately impressed. They didn’t have these types of kicks back home. They didn’t have our size though. No big feet people in Thailand I guess.

We wandered through the mall and then headed outside. Nick got some Burger King and we kept moving. We finally turned right onto this street to get back to our bikes. We affectionately named this street Boner Boulevard. There were nothing but saloons and massage parlors down this street. It felt like a scene out of the old west to me.

These girls literally jumped on us as we were walking down. “Sexy Man! Sexy Man!” is their calling card. Nick and KB were just ahead of me. I was slowed mainly because of my hair. KB was stiff arming hoes left and right wile nick got straight tackled by 2 or 3. They would literally block our paths through the alley as we would try and walk down. After I fended off like 5 of them and put a mean juke move on one of them this drunken girl came out of the blue and wrapped her legs and arms all around me applying all her strength in her grip. She was expressing her willingness to do anything for 300 baht in the room upstairs. The liquor on her breath was pungent. The girls were pressing so hard on us trying to give us erections. I speak for myself when I say it worked. I had to do a swim move to get this girl unshackled.

Somehow we made it past the hookers and through this narrow shop full of items back onto the main boulevard. Lets get the hell outta here we all thought. It was night time now and we faced a challenge ahead. We had to brave the treacherous road through the mountains on the way back. Let’s do it. After a few minutes on the road back to Karon I felt at ease and was ripping through the street. I kept KB in my rearview as not to leave them. When I arrived at Karon I finally realized that it was not KB and Nick that I was seeing in my rearview.

I was immediately worried. They were nowhere to be found. I rode back up a quarter of the way through the mountains and realized that they had appointments with their tailors for the suits. I rode back to Karon and was relieved to see KB standing their trying on his suit. Phew.

The tailor named Harry was a very cool guy from Nepal. He offered us a beer and we stayed and kicked it for awhile. This was some strong beer. After 2 we were buzzin big time. It was a holiday for Thailand. Harry explained that he was going to pop firecrackers on the beach. He asked us to join him. We were poppin firecrackers for about 10-15 minutes and then walked back. Harry wanted to get more. We didn’t want to be rude.

He told me to hop on the back of his motorbike so we could go and find some more firecrackers… big mistake. I should have noticed how drunk he was when he almost blew me and KB up with a rocket earlier on the beach. That thing fell over and whizzed a few feet right by us before it exploded. Glad we could have a laugh about it.

I hopped on the back and we rode a few blocks into the village. We could not find any firecrackers so Harry decided to pick up a 4 pack of beer. I now see why it comes in a 4 pack instead of 6. That shyt is potent. When we hopped on the back of his motorbike he tried to peel off with out getting proper balance. We fell and busted our ass’s right in the muddy water. I was now fearful for the few blocks we had to travel back to his shop. I was literally flying by the seat of my pants! Remember how I say that they drive with no rules? Now imagine that at night on a 2 lane road with all sorts of twists with a drunken dude. It was a rush to say the least, but we made it nevertheless.

KB had split so we decided to part ways. Harry gave me 3 out of the 4 beers and burned off. Harry is a nice dude. With beers in tow I hall ass back to the hotel. I am buzzin hard at this point but not on Harry’s level. At the hotel we decide to go to Ging’s. We go by three on the motorbikes and pull in. Nick needs to play catch up to me and KB’s buzzed state.

Ging, Som, Puhn, Beau & crew are all too happy to see us. Ging orders a round of cocktails on the house! Seriously, you gotta love Ging! She is awesome! She had no idea how tossed we were though. This was by far the most rambunctious we all were at Ging’s this night. We were laughing and boisterous and it soon effected the entire restaurant.

We stayed until close and pretty much rolled out with the entire restaurant crew. I swear these people loved us! We needed to gas up the bikes before we pulled in so we followed Beau to this Shell gas station. This wasn’t your normal gas station. It was literally some guy sitting on a stool next to what looked like an ice-cream stand that housed his gasoline. The gas was in three different containers no larger than 5-10 gallon jugs. Your car is bigger than this dude’s entire operation. It was funny.

After we filled up and used his bush style bathroom we hauled off. Halfway back to the hotel, we saw Puhn scootin down the boardwalk. We asked her what there was to do around here. She said follow her to one of the local bars. KB said he was gonna head to the hotel because we had to get up at like 6:30 to catch a bus to go to Phi Phi Island. Nick and I were feelin too good to call it a night so we followed Puhn.

Side Note: There was a Lady Boy that stopped behind us before we pulled off. As soon as Nick and I scratched off he approached KB. When Nick and I found this out the next morning we were dying laughing! He said the Lady Boy grabbed his arm and said, “What’s up?” KB snatched his arm back holding back his punch and fled the area. LOL

Once Nick and I caught up to Puhn at the bar she caught ghost, not 1 minute after we got there. That shyt was weird. Nick and I decided to have 1 beer and leave.

Touring Thailand: Day Five

NEIM — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 09:26:00 +0000

Day Five: KB was feeling pretty frisky I guess because he woke us up at like 6:45am to go and eat breakfast. Good thing we went to sleep early. Surprisingly we were the first people down to eat breakfast. There was rice, pancakes, all kinds of fruit, cereal, some nice potato mixture, ham, bacon, toast, and some white goo that I wouldn’t dare touch: not for breakfast. If you walked outside there were two omelet chefs with these long chef hats ready to whip you up your style of eggs. For refreshments, there was milk, water, orange stuff, or coffee. That orange stuff tasted like a much improved version of Sunny D. We affectionately called it Sunny T. KB brought back some mini bananas from the fruit section. I mean these little bananas were the size of your fingers, but tasted no different. Think of oranges to tangerines except there is no taste difference.

After breakfast we retreated to the room, put on some swim wear and then headed to the beach. Before that apparently there was some sort of miscommunication between KB, Nick & I. I think Nick said lets got to the pool. KB just wanted to go to the beach and was gonna catch up with us after the pool. But on the way to the pool somehow Nick & I ended up at the beach. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. I just had a 10 minute conversation with KB asking him why that did, because for some reason it was in my mind that KB was set on doing something in the room while we were headed to the beach. Bottom line is, we went to the beach at separate times for a reason I clearly cannot remember.

The beach was very nice. We are on the more quite beach in Phuket so there was peacefulness about it. I don’t usually enjoy going out into the water, but I must have walked at least 100 yards out into the ocean. The water was very clear. You can see all the way to the bottom. After about half an hour or so just floatin around in the sea, we decided to head back where we met KB. We then headed to the pool and KB dipped in the ocean. The pool was nice and not over chlorinated.

After we all dried off a bit we decided to go back to Ging’s for some lunch. Ol Ging was delighted to see us and even called us by name. We were the only one’s there when we arrived. She then turned on the Thai song, “Bong, Bong” that we liked and served us some free mango shakes. These mango shakes were heavenly. I think I had three to KB & Nick’s 2. KB and I ordered some seafood most likely fresh from the nearby ocean. They put the whole damned fish on KB’s plate. After awhile the restaurant filled up and was again a very cozy atmosphere for which we indulged for more than an hour.

Now fat full, the guys decided to take a nap. I needed to use the internet so I decided to go and look for a connection. I decided to go and ask Ging where I could find a hot spot and she pointed one out across the street. I had to buy a drink so I chose a Thai beer that tasted pretty good. The internet connection was to slow, so I ended up buying 3 beers without getting much business done. I was a little upset, but I had to go. We were going to the Vegetarian Festival that only happens once a year in Phuket and I needed to get back.

Once in the room we got up and out. On our way to find a took-took we saw a Thai volleyball game going on. It was interesting because they were playing with their feet. (click on this link for video) We rode a took-took all the way to Phuket Town for the festival. With the traffic it took us maybe 45 minutes to get to Phuket Town. The took-took driver ripped us off though because we weren’t in Phuket Town. We ended up in the Phuket version of Rodeo Drive. It would have been nice if we were shopping.

What’s worse is my flip-flop broke and I was walking one foot bare through the mall with everyone staring because of my hair. I would have been embarrassed if we were in America, but I knew I would never see these people again. I thought that it was fortuitous that we landed in a mall, because I could replace my sandal. But like I said before… we were in the High-Class section of Phuket and the flip-flops were damn near a thousand baht when I knew I could get them for 200 or less!

We found another cab and rode to Phuket Town. Uh oh… Nick has that sick look on his face again. I have no clue on how he got that way, but he was lookin like crap. Phuket town was crowded for the Vegetarian Festival. The Vegetarian Festival is a religious ritual of sorts where the monks decided to show how dedicated they are to their faith. In order to do so, they walk across hot coals and pierce themselves through the cheek with a sword from the outside through the inside. I mean this sword is half an inch around.

We luckily got off right outside a pharmacy so Nick could get some meds. This was interesting. The pharmacist was practically a doctor and gave Nick a mini exam. He then wrote Nick 2 prescriptions and gave him a cream for his sun burn. No doctor’s visit cost and no insurance needed. Nick felt better pretty fast.

Now we were looking for some shoes for me because I am at this point bare-footin it through Phuket Town. I mean the streets were filled with motorbikes, cars and people. Firecrackers were poppin off everywhere! Kids running around with lighters… I mean it was crazy! Video coming soon.

We happened up on this shoe store where there were no shoe sizes higher than 10 ½ US. I wear 12-13. I had to squeeze my big feet in some small flip flops that ended up tearing the skin off of the insides of my 2^nd toes. I was initially irritated but I soon got over it due to what would happen next.

We entered into the town square and the shear number of people was awe inspiring. I mean it was easily 30,000 people in the near vicinity and maybe more. The monks were preparing for their rituals and getting psyched up. You could sense the feverishness of the crowd as the moment was getting close at hand. I saw to people that looked as though they spoke English and asked them what was going on. To my surprise they were French. One guy and one blonde woman with some of the most beautiful blues you’ll ever see. She was so fascinated by it all, that it became infectious. I kinda broke away from KB and Nick because I had the camera and chased the action with these 2.

We didn’t witness the actual piercing, but we saw many devoted monks engulfed with the spirit of Buddha or something. It was amazing. They made this huge fire and were prancing around it. (See Pictures|Video)

They then brought out some huge figures of men and carried some sort of mini shrines or something through this line on there way outside. My French and I friend jumped in the line with them at the end passing right by the fire. That fire was hot. Just before we could exit with them we were stopped by a huge wall of firecrackers that they lit up. The sound was so loud and deafening. It sounded like a relentless barrage of gunfire being poured into the screaming crowd. It consumed all of your hearing sense to where you couldn’t help but be immersed into the spirituality of it all.

After all of that, we parted with our French comrades very much at my dismay. I very much wanted to have a drink with them to reflect on the events that just took place. Instead we went to McDonalds. I of course did not eat any of that American food. I was kinda down for a bit, wanting to go drink with the Frenchies. On the took-took ride back to the beach I sort of got over it.

Once back to beach, Nick opted to go to the room because he had already eaten and was sleepy. KB and I instead wandered over to Ging’s. This night, we got better acquainted with the staff. The one’s we talk to on a regular basis are Som, Beau, and Puhn. Som is like that cool older sister who is like the second mom in charge (That mom being Ging). Beau is that girl who just likes to hang around and gets her enjoyment from seeing others have fun. Puhn’s English is not that good, but you can tell she is a very fun girl. She’s long and slender standing at about 5’5” with a very long Ponytail and a never-ending smile. Its fun talking to her because there is so much of a language barrier that we must use gestures for everything we communicate. When we get back to the hotel, we try and decide are we going to go to Patong Beach that night. We are all too tired and decide to call it a night.

Touring Thailand: Day Four

NEIM — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:41:34 +0000

Day Four: I am rudely awakened by my comrades down the hall telling me that we are leaving for Kosami very soon by way of train. I’m workin on like 3-4 hours sleep from the previous 2 days combined. After about an hour of prep time we leave out and grab some Subway from around the corner. I vow that this is the last “American food” that I’m eating while in Asia.

We crammed ourselves into this tiny cab to get to the train station. The traffic is horrible, but what’s worse is the style of driving. I must say that these must be the best motorbike drivers in the world. They were cutting in and out of traffic like nobody’s business. One guy went right through two cars with no more than a foot of space on each side at about 40-45mph.

We got to see downtown Bangkok, which was nice. There were a few temples that looked amazing. The cab ride took us through some interesting looking streets. It was about 45 minutes to the train station. This place was crowded. There were so many people waiting for the train.

We tried to get a ticket and found out that the train was booked. I was relieved because the trip was going to take 16 hours and the name of the train was “Death Rail!” Seriously… the name was Death Rail. Hell no. The people were very helpful in accommodating us with new plans. We decided to go to Phuket by plane.

We had a good time at the train station because the people were so friendly. They asked to take a picture with me and my crazy do and nicked named me “Tiger.” Well at least 2 of us were having a good time. Nick looked as though he had the flu. He was sweatin all over the place and his forehead was cold. We let him sit outside the office inside the train station so he could try and maintain. Poor guy.

After we booked our flight and hotel (5 days in Phuket) we had to wait around 20 minutes or so for the ticket. At this time I decided to go exploring the grounds to rustle up some grub. I found some weird waffle treats, mangos, pineapples, watermelon, & some meat on a stick. Everything was good except for the meat on the stick. That shyt tasted like meat foam. The lady told me it was chicken. Chicken must mean “Shit Stick” in Thai. I have video.

Once we got our tickets, we met one of the funniest characters outside for a taxi ride to the airport. This guy was nice, but he was very funny looking. He spoke very little English, but he very much enjoyed us. I can’t remember what we were talking about at one point, but we were laughing hard and so was he. We started laughing harder because he was laughing and didn’t know what the hell we were laughing at. So then we are all just laughing because it felt good.

There was this other weird fruit that looked like light green blueberries (if that makes any sense). I tasted one of them and it had this crazy sour taste. I tried to say that it was good so that KB & Nick could share in the nasty taste. Nick, being wise, showed the fruit to the cabby and gestured to him as to ask him was the fruit good. The cabby was a late 30’s early 40’s darker skinned Thai dude that hasn’t been to the dentist since he was 6, but had this genuine friendly demeanor. He looked at nick and gave the nastiest face possible giving him the “ugh” sound. He busted me and we all laughed.

Moments late Nick dropped a silent bomb on us. I thought the smell was coming from outside, but nicked laid claim to the fame. Now I see why he was feeling sick earlier. Whatever demons were trapped in his stomach were rudely making their way out of his ass! Nick, KB & I quickly lowered the windows. Little did we know, the cabby was suffering the most, because Nick was sitting in the front next to him. He obviously didn’t want to offend us by reacting to the funk, but as soon as we let the windows down he did the same; and he let out this gasping for fresh air sound as though he had been holding his breath. We were crying laughing and so was he. He was saying something in Thai to the effect of that was some stinky shit and we had a great time all the way to the airport.

Once there, we had to wait almost 2 hours for our plane. The wait for the plane was longer than the actual flight to Phuket. Phuket is a small island off the southwest coast of Thailand. Thailand is a peninsula. It is also an island that was affected by the tsunamis. We got there around 7:30pm and it was raining. Before we landed I witnessed the most beautiful sunset above a bed of clouds. It was absolutely breath taking seeing the sunset in the sky in the land of the rising sun.

On the ground we got into this van with about 7 other passengers to make the hour long drive to our Karon Beach. It was a little further down from the more popular Patapong Beach. We chose it because the hotel was nicer. It was raining. This is when I really started to realize that there were really no rules on the road. They drive on the left side here, but really it was like where ever you wanted to. It sounds chaotic, but they make it work. I haven’t yet seen anyone getting pulled over for a ticket, harassed by cops, or any authorities (outside the airport and train station) what so ever. I bet you know one is spending time in jail for stupid traffic warrants and such. We always tout on how free of a country America is, but I tell you these people do whatever the hell they want but are respectful about it.

One chick got sick on our way to the beach and had to throw up. I just had to throw that in.

Once at the hotel, exhausted, we decided to go and find some food. We walked around the corner and found a nice little restaurant called Ging’s Restaurant. The owner was this boisterous Thai lady that knew how to accommodate guests. She was a diva and that’s for sure. The atmosphere was very comfortable. She brought us free frozen drinks and gave us a 30% discount on the food just because she was that cool! If we weren’t so tired we would have stayed longer. I could tell if I lived here, I would be there all the time. I had an omelet over rice with some sort of chicken and cashew combination with vegetables. Before that we had a free offering of the salad trey. I grabbed some pasta, corn coleslaw, and a delectable potato salad. All the food here was very good. The service was even better. They entertained us with conversation and they were even playing games at some tables. I mean, this place was chill.

We finished our meal and headed back to the room. I must have been tired, because I went right to sleep at around 11; and so did everyone else.

Touring Thailand: Day Three

NEIM — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:38:52 +0000

Day Three: What a night. The Thailand nightlife seen is crazy! I was told that this was the transvestite capital of the world. I would have to concur. Some of these shemales are painfully obvious, but quite a few are pretty good knock-offs of women.

Lets see, this day begins with the front desk ringing our room to let us know that we need to come down and make arrangements if we wanted to stay another night in the hotel. We said ok, but our drunkenness kept us sleep way past check out time. We then were kicked out, but very kindly kicked out. We spent the next couple hours downstairs in the lobby trying to figure out where we were going to stay. We ordered something from the bar so that could use the internet.

The uniforms of the hotel staff (of the ladies) were very nice. They wore long purple & fuchsia colored skirts down to the ankles with a slit that ran up to their mid thigh. The tops were like suit jackets, nothing special, but the slits in the skirts made them look very sexy.

When they served us, they would kneel (both knees) and bow. The whole act just made you feel very comfortable. They were always smiling at you too.

We found a hotel a few blocks from our present location, so we hoofed it with our bags in tow to the spot. It was a decent hotel for only about 1,200 baht (about $35). KB & Nick were still tired from last night, but I was on a mission. I had to find those glasses plus I was starving. I walked down a few blocks with the music from my iPod making the whole thing seem unreal. “I’m in Bangkok on one of the busiest streets in all of Thailand half a world away from all I’ve ever known. Awesome” I thought to myself.

The weather was perfect. Everywhere you looked, the people were selling items. It went like this: street, cars, vendor’s booths, sidewalk (with walking vendors), and then the buildings with various businesses. I was once again smitten by the fascination of my damned hairstyle. I quickly bought a pair of the first Top Gun looking sunglasses I could find. Perfect. For some reason, it was a hell of a lot easier walking down the street now that I knew they could not see my eyes.

To foreigners, everywhere you walk they try to offer you a cab or a ride on a “Took-Took.” A took-took is like a half motorcycle half rickshaw. Watch the movie Ong-Bok if you really want a good feel for it (Or see the picture page). I am also asked to buy all sorts of items from necklaces & crazy looking jewelry to little wooden frogs (I bought 1).

I finally decide to sit down and eat outside at this little Thai restaurant. Its good food and its cheap. Most dishes were around 100 to 200 baht. That’s 3-6 USD. I ordered some mixture of chicken & vegetables with a plate of some kind of crabs with orange juice for like 480 baht (around $14). That meal would have easily cost me $40+ dollars in the US.

While eating, this very beautiful seductress sat next to me and kept me company. Her ultimate goal was to get me to hang out with her and her girls so that I would eventually end up paying for their time and/or sex. I tell you, these Bangkok women have game. Good thing I did a little research on the internet before the trip and knew what the gig was.

After the meal I went back up to the hotel, showered and started writing the first part of this blog. I laid down for a bit before we all headed out for the night around 1:00am. We stopped at a pool hall and had a few drinks. Then one of the girls told us of a spot that was poppin all night.

We got there around 2:30am. The place is called Spice. It was underneath this hotel and it was jumpin! They played mostly if not all American Hip-hop. I can’t recall seeing any cheap well-liquors. I was drinking Grand Marne, Remy, Jager and a slew of all kinds of shyt! I wasn’t feelin that f***ed up though. I think. I left KB & Nick at the club close to 6 in the morning and headed back to the hotel. The rest of this story is Vegas.

Touring Thailand: Day Two

NEIM — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:33:38 +0000

Day Two: Now we boarded the Thai Plane around 4:30pm Japan time which is around 2:30am Houston. BTW, it was Tuesday afternoon! Our flight to Bangkok, Thailand was a 6 hour flight. Unlike the Continental, flying coach in Thai Airlines is like flying 1^st class in the states minus the close seating. First we were givin a snack. Some assortment of god knows what kind of trail mix. It was different, but overall tasty. Imagine having Sushi trail mix. The refreshments came next. Get this… OPEN BAR w/virtually no limit. What’s the Thai word for hit me again?

When it was time for our meal, me and my Japanese buddy sittin next to me had a good buzz goin; although he was only drinking beer… wimp. I was having an assortment of drinks myself. We had a choice at dinner time between pork and salmon. I don’t eat pork (except the occasional bacon crave). The Salmon was curried though. I guess that is an acquired taste. It came with 2 different kinds of noodles, a very good shrimp salad, roll, steamed rice, fruit, orange juice & some kind of coffee cake (I think) that was absolutely divine.

During the meal, servers came by offering either red or white wine. I had to keep the buzz goin. Next there was an offer of Green Tea, English Tea, or Coffee for the end of the meal. I decided against because I saw that there was also an offer of cognac coming up. I love cognac! After the Cognac and being that we were 40,000 feet in the sky, I was categorically drunk. Nice. Needless to say, I slept the rest of the way. I hope the 2 guys to the left didn’t have to take a piss .

We arrive at a very colorful looking Airport. There are all kinds of paintings and statues which give it a very artsy vibe. Once through customs I say to the fellas, “We are in fucking Thailand!”

Thai people are used to seeing tourists, but they were not ready for what I had in store for them. Hell, I wasn’t ready for the reaction myself. My Mohawk was garnering all sorts of attention; way more than from the states. I kinda felt what it was like to be a celebrity. All eyes were on me. Old eyes, young eyes, it didn’t matter. To my chagrin they were all marveling on how neat it was and were smiling and giving approval in Thai and with thumbs up.

We needed to get to our hotel. It was close to 11:00 pm Bangkok time (11:00am Houston). That’s 24 hours of travel time. As nice and kind as the people are in Bangkok, they are some hustlers too. There was a taxi/limousine service inside the airport, but we opted to go with the girls who were snapping their cameras away at my braided doo. What a set up, lol.

The girls tempted you outside, just to lure you into a taxi… er mini-van that took us to the airport (We have video coming soon of this exploit). It was cool until we found out we overpaid. Ah well.

Once at the hotel we really observed the relentless kindness of the Thai people. I mean damn, they were making Americans look like down right Assholes! Don’t want tips, bowing all over the place and just plain respectful of other human beings.

We got to the room, freshened up, and were out the door by around 1:00am. Let this mark the day that Pony Boy was born. When we stepped outside dressed in mere T-shirts and jeans/shorts we were garnering all sorts of attention. I’ll try to say this as modest as I can… my Mohawk had these Thai people sick! I couldn’t walk 5-10 feet (literally) without people smiling, pointing, wanting to touch, or asking me how much or how long did it take. I was soon overwhelmed by the attention. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like all of the attention, but it was a bit much. Gonna try and get some video of the reaction on Wednesday though to show you what I am talking about. Nick started calling me Pony Boy. We were getting free beers and all of the ladies attention out of it, so it was cool. This little girl even gave me a rose. How sweet. I felt like Buddha himself if you know what I mean.

The rest of the night consisted of a lot of partying and drinking until and after the sun literally came up. Insert montage here. I’m getting some shades for tomorrow. I now know why celebrities always don the glasses. Its hard to ignore people when everyone you look at is making eye contact with you.

Touring Thailand: Day One

NEIM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:52:27 +0000

I’m writing everyday about my adventures in Thailand. A 10-day adventure embarked on with 2 friends, KB & Nick, October 15th thru the 25th. I will include pictures and video as they are produced.

Day One: It is 9am Houston time and we arrive at the Intercontinental Airport. We board sometime before 10:30 on our way to Tokyo (layover city). This is when I realized that I might get a little bit of attention in Asia. You see, I am sporting a Mohawk 3 inches high off of my scalp. It has a braided design on the side with an afro-like Mohawk going down the middle. I haven’t even gotten to my seat when I’m asked to take a picture; a pre-cursor of things to come.

Note to anyone who hasn’t been to Asia. The flight is hella long! It took us 13 hours just to get to Tokyo. We were not permitted to leave the Airport. Our layover was only 2.5 hours anyway. The airport was very nice. It was like a mall with planes parked outside. The Sony store had all of the products that haven’t made it to market over here in the states. Anyone who knows how much I love technology knows that I was in “Hog Heaven.”