NEIM BLOG » life

Twetches

NEIM — Tue, 12 May 2009 10:58:03 +0000

What the crap is a Twetch?

The question of the ages… “What is Twetches?” In short Twetches stands for “Twitter Sketches.”

Twetches.com is a community based site that showcases the funny, weird, strange and just plain odd Tweets you find on Twitter in a hand drawn sketch format.

There are moments in everyday life that are just plain AWKWARD! I mean you might walk in on your parents “looking for the remote” in the sheets or it might feel as if there is a breeze in your office when in reality you didn’t wear pants to work. Whatever the case may be, people Tweet about anything and more times than not it is awkward. Some people don’t realize that what they write can be seen by the world through the inter-webs. Other people don’t give a crap and want you to see how bizarre they are. Twetches.com thrives off of these people to Tweet about things that are so crazy that they just might end up becoming a Twetch. Check out these delightfully random Tweets:

@brandius I hate nature. How is it possible that flowers are $2,000? I punched the florist.

@baffled Turns out the dog has epilepsy….that should be an interesting challenge…

@robcorddry Lots of face masks at the airport today. I’m coughing a lot near them. It’s a smile…

@Muzzlewump OK… all my doctors that follow… is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time? Like a constirhea?

Twetches.com believes that creativity begins away from the computer. How many times have you had an idea and jotted it down on a scrap piece of paper i.e. a napkin? (It was probably a napkin at a bar wasn’t it? You are such a drunk.) A Twetch is exact same thing. When looking through Tweets on Twitter more often than not you come across a few that stand out in a visual way. When reading these Tweets they paint a picture in your head. Take this image from your head and sketch it out on some paper. Have you done it yet? If you have, you just created your own Twetch.

Twetches.com encourages you to be a part of their community. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from or even if you are good at sketching.

So get out a pencil/pen/marker and some paper, shake off the creative rust and start Twetching.

To participate click here

When am I getting married?

NEIM — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:11:22 +0000

Never Have I done this… but I loved how I wrote my final response to this facebook question/note I had to keep it for all time! Read as I blast this chick into outerspace!

This is from Marcus Howelton III… ( I Highlighted My response all the way at the end… Don’t challenge NEIM unless you’re prepared.)

Marc writes…

This question has been posed to me a million and one times the recent weeks/months in light of quite a few of my close friends getting engaged and/or married. My standard answer of, “I’ll get married when I’m good and ready, which may be never.” has gone pretty much unchanged since I was a young pup. Although I highly doubt the latter to be the case when all is said and done. I do see myself marrying one day……

Nevertheless, I came across the following quote this morning that sums up my views on marriage succinctly, and what it really means and why I’m just not ready.

“A wedding is an event — a marriage is a lifelong commitment. One asks you to be an adult in your choices — the other, a child.”

Simply put, anyone can get married. I think the quote oversimplifies things a bit but not by much. It’s not hard getting a marriage license, having a ceremony and saying “i do” says nothing about one’s maturity, faithfulness and place in life. Basically having a wedding is child’s play. Getting married aka hitched aka tying the knot is NOT the same as having a “marriage.”

Same root word, totally different in execution and levels of dedication required for success.

To be honest I don’t think most people are honest in their assessments of themselves and how fit they are for marriage. If they were divorce rates wouldn’t be where they are, you wouldn’t have legions of unhappy people dreading to come home to their “life” partners and you wouldn’t have all of this infidelity in these “holy” unions. I think the underlying motivations for people getting married are a big part of the problem but that’s a discussion for another day.

Marriage can be a beautiful thing… I support the institution 100%, so please don’t take me to be cynic, but there’s something to be said for being real with myself and where I’m at as a person. Bottom line, quit asking me the damn question.

Updated 20 hours ago – Comment – Like Unlike – Report Note

You like this.

Camille Patterson at 8:18am February 26

Too long to read this EARLY in the mawnin’… Is there a shorter version??

Marc Howelton at 8:27am February 26

This coming from the person that tagged me in a note that had 100 questions…. FAIL.

Camille Patterson at 8:28am February 26

I didn’t tag you… Stalker…

Marc Howelton at 8:31am February 26

Riiiiiiiight!!!!!!!!! FAIL. You’re right, you must still be sleep. Hit me after you’ve had a big bowl of “Wits” for breakfast.

Camille Patterson at 8:33am February 26

I don’t EAT “Wits”… *humph*

Angela N. Evans at 9:39am February 26

You a cynic? Never would I dream of calling you a cynic!

Marc Howelton at 10:07am February 26

Peanut gallery hater.

Rhonda Johnson at 10:07am February 26

I imagine when you marry it will be somewhere that supports polygamy, no?

Marc Howelton at 10:09am February 26

Yeah, I’ll actually call you to find out where you got your license. Deal!

Rhonda Johnson at 10:19am February 26

I would say that was a low blow but I did start it huh.

What am I saying? I will be the picture of monogamy.

Tanisha Boyd at 10:23am February 26

what in the name of the Je Simpin Hova kinda fukkery is this? Isn’t it too early to be sucka mc’ing like this?

Marc, you getting soft in your old age…

Marc Howelton at 10:28am February 26

*cancels flight to Aruba* Who’s taking the drunken photos of this ninja from this upcoming weekend? Let me load up my pre-paid black card.

Tanisha Boyd at 10:34am February 26

I gave up drinking for Lent

*quickly moves away from window*

Rhonda Johnson at 10:41am February 26

Which reminds me Tanisha. I am working on my public image and i’m not sure if being with some of you guys would be a good idea.

Shaana Sweazie at 10:45am February 26

Tanisha, to say Marc is getting soft would imply he was hard at some point in time. Not the case!

*runs*

Angela N. Evans at 10:53am February 26

I was backing you, big dummy!

Tanisha Boyd at 10:57am February 26

@ Rhonda…okay, Marc won’t be allowed to come…you should be good…

@ Shaana…maybe I should have said SOFTER in his old age…as in, the hardness level of say, a ripe banana, to the softness of this message which is like month old bananas…feel me?

Marc Howelton at 11:01am February 26

@Tanisha *blankest of stares*

I got my hood stripes Shaana… The streets know me. I take tours on the weekends thru my old stomping grounds in Hillwood bay-buh! *throws up H*

@Anglea My bad dawg

*ignores anything Rhonda is talking about just on GP*

Shaana Sweazie at 11:04am February 26

any talk of bananas makes me think of Belly.

AJ Cyr at 11:07am February 26

Amen! You’re definitely getting wiser in your old(er) age!

Neiman Catley at 11:10am February 26

So you’re thinking about getting married, huh? To hell with the whole institution. If two people are together… then two people are together. Why do people need a piece of paper to prove that they will be faithful to one another? I don’t want to hear that corny shyt of pledging your vows before God either. If “God” is supposed to be this omniscient being, he/she/it should know what’s in your heart. I think if people want to become husband and wife, they should make the vows between each other without all of the fanfare.

Hell… all sorts of beasts have monogamous relationships. Take the North American wolf for example. One partner for life. No wedding, yet the wolves are committed to one another for life.

People get married for all sorts of artificial reasons. That’s why the shyt doesn’t last. About 90% of the women I meet (mainly the good-looking ones) are looking for that “meal ticket”, not love. Most guys are looking for a Trophy or a girl to be their servant, not love.
…

Rhonda Johnson at 11:11am February 26

Why am I bring ignored? They just called you a mark.

Neiman Catley at 11:13am February 26

…(continued)
Once people begin to see what’s real in life and one another, than there can be these blissful relationships that some of us used to dream about as kids. I once heard a girl tell me… “You can learn to love a man.” WTF? Because he has $$?!

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Marc Howelton at 11:15am February 26

*watches as page takes a serious turn* *smacks on banana like Big Headed Rico*

Marc Howelton at 11:17am February 26

@ Alicia I’ve always been wise, whatchu trying to say?

Tanisha Boyd at 11:31am February 26

<—is NOT looking for a meal ticket…I can feed myself just fine…

God may know your heart…but meanwhile keep screwing each other’s brain’s out until the Viagra supply is fully depleted and the chick has dried up like the Sahara…I’m sure God understands that…

a piece of paper does not prove that two people will be faithful to one another…that piece of paper does however prove that two people have come together as one, specifially speaking as a legal entity…the monogamy only comes into play when 2 people actually want to be committed to one another…no piece of paper can make them do that…

and FYI, a true marriage does not exist without God in it…it’s kinda His institution and until people start recognizing that they will continue to fail epically at it…

*no bible thumper*

Marc Howelton at 11:33am February 26

*smack smack smack* I don’t, I don’t like that shyt, I don’t like that shyt dawg….

Tanisha Boyd at 11:40am February 26

zaggin is you bout it, bout it fool!

Neiman Catley at 11:43am February 26

to T. Boyd

“…and FYI, a true marriage does not exist without God in it…it’s kinda His institution and until people start recognizing that they will continue to fail epically at it…”

World Population (as of 2005):
33% Christian (decreasing)
21% Islam (increasing)
16% Nonreligious ( Atheist, Agnostic, theist nonreligious)
14% Hindu
8% Other
6% Buddhism
6% Chinese Traditional
6% Primal-indigenous (incl African traditional/ Diasporic)

So I ask you… which “God?”
And what of the 16% of people who don’t particularly have one? Does it not exist or is it not valid for this group?

Shaana Sweazie at 11:55am February 26

most of the aforementioned religions are based on the same grassroot belief that there is a higher power(s) which exist for guidance in our spiritual and waking life, so the ‘which God’ is neither here nor there.

as for the percentage who don’t subscribe to a particular religion, it’s safe to assume they live a life of mostly good according to societal norms, which in most countries are based on the dominating religion.

aside from that aspect, i can agree that people tend to focus on the idea of mariagge (the ceremony) and not the actual application, however that does not mitigate the bond that ‘piece of paper’ represents. The same could be said for a college diploma.

Marc Howelton at 11:56am February 26

^^^black Catholic right here. You’re like .0002 percent of the population right? *goes back to smacking*

Tanisha Boyd at 11:58am February 26

does it matter which God? I can’t choose that for people…God, Allah, Jehovah, Big Baby Jesus, whatever you want to call your Supreme Being…makes no matter…

you are an aethist, devil worshipper, Beezlebub B-boy, etc. the concept of civil union seems much more suitable than marriage does…

Shaana Sweazie at 12:01pm February 26

*wonders who told Marcus she was giving up cursing for lent*

Don’t make me get creative, ok?

Neiman Catley at 12:03pm February 26

Shaana Sweazie makes a good argument. Screw paper, save the Earth.

T. Boyd is scaring me “affixes index fingers to represent a cross”

Tanisha Boyd at 12:05pm February 26

Tanisha “Blasphemus” Boyd strikes again! YES!

*moves farther away from window*

Neiman Catley at 12:11pm February 26

“Grabs pistol and silver bullets”

AJ Cyr at 12:11pm February 26

Yes, for the most part, you have always been a mature person, despite your age. However, there were other areas (only your words in previous conversations can be referenced) where growth was needed and it appears you have matured in those areas as well.

I can agree with Nieman to a point; people get married for the wrong reasons and I believe your commentary states that. However, as a good looking woman (*ahem* Marcus can attest) that is NOT looking for a meal ticket, but for a man that God has prepared for her and ONLY her; paper is not what defines the relationship, but the covenant made before God. The paper is man-made, yet necessary in the event of sickness or death (which are apart of your marriage vows before God).

I think many women, myself included, have also had to mature past wanting the “wedding day” and to begin preparing for marriage as a life partner and true help-mate. Enjoy your banana!

Neiman Catley at 12:14pm February 26

Marriage can work if you are truthful… seek the truth!
(Shameless Plug)
http://muzzlewump.com/blog/2007/11/19/the-truth-is-it-in-you/

Tanisha Boyd at 12:22pm February 26

*scared to click the link*

Marc, you’re an azzhole…you might as well start prepping for your elderly role by stocking up on canes to shake at the neighborhood kids whenever they get close to your lawn…

Neighborhood grumpy (drunk) old man with a bad liver…my crystal ball never lies! Don’t worry…I’ll be down the street starring as the Candy Lady…*goes to Sam’s Club and Costco to stock up on quarter waters, snack sized bags of chips, and other hood candy staples such as Nah’laters and Chick o Sticks*

Neiman Catley at 12:29pm February 26

Be afraid… be very afraid.
(More Shameless)
http://Muzzlewump.com/blog

Marc Howelton at 2:40pm February 26

*comes back in* Banana gone!

Leanetta Shug Avery at 6:19pm February 26

They aren’t really ready for your self made corporate thug original pimp scholar-ness

Marc Howelton at 7:10pm February 26

That’s what i’m sayin! lol

Valerie Long at 9:49pm February 26

Dear Marc… I enjoyed your mini dissertation… you have matured so from the old A&M days of burning out tires fish tailing in your lil mustang to impress the ladies…

Dear Neiman… Please don’t knock what you clearly have no knowledge of. If you don’t understand how God works then there is no need for the cynicism. Marriage was designed by God. People have ruined its sanctity by putting superficial needs before what should actually be first. I think this may be the “meal ticket” you speak of. You seem to think that “be together” is an answer/solution? When actually its part of the problem. That is so vague. Be together to what? Screw for a while? Make a baby? Go to dinner a few times? A life long marriage take a lot more than just “be together”. I guess that is why you can compare us to animals? They really don’t have to get to know each other they just “be together”.

Valerie Long at 9:50pm February 26

**not quite finished**
Dear Tanisha & AJ… Well said. I totally agree. Tanisha I too, am fearful of clicking the links. Ya’ll were on point. Well I have never really seen the “azzhole” side of Mr. Howelton … Well Marc you didn’t respond to my email about Dubai …what’s up that??? Wait a flashback just popped in my head… I think I got pretty ticked off at you when you lived down the hall from me in those old a** dorms in summer school waaaaay back when.

Speaking for myself … a wedding is an event that I can do without. I wouldn’t mind a SMALL ceremony. I don’t by into the whole bridesmaid thing. The last wedding I participated in was the last. I have friends that have this coveted day planned out from the colors the dresses to the napkins on the table. To me it’s quite hilarious when I remind them that they don’t even have a date for dinner … not to mention a boyfriend.

Marc Howelton at 10:08pm February 26

I ain’t matured not a lick! Don’t put that negative energy in the air Val. *leaves trying to figure out what Dubai, smoking tires and the summer of 98 or 99 has to do with anything* lol

Valerie Long at 10:34pm February 26

*recanting sentence about not seeing Marc’s azzhole side**

Camille Patterson at 11:07pm February 26

*finishes bowl of “Wits” & refuses to comment on the subject at hand*

Camille Patterson at 11:17pm February 26

*Sheesh, who am I kidding*

Marc, I hate choo for making me have to exercise my brain cells…

Personally, I’d love to be loved by a man as Christ loves the church. Money may be long, but life is short. Money can’t buy happiness, but faith can. Marriage may not be for all, but I hope it is for me. It only takes one other, of a like mind, to make that happen.

Screw the decisions of the many. This planet is being destroyed by all those who choose to disregard the effects their selfish ways have on it. One shouldn’t consider the actions of these same people when determining how to spend the rest of one’s life with a person they love. In other words, who the many choose to serve/not to serve is worthless information.

Needless to say, my marriage will be as personal as my relationship with God. I tend to Him as He tends to me, therefore, I’ll tend to him as he tends to me. It will be between us. “Nothing even matters, at all…”

Neiman Catley at 3:27am February 27

Awwwww shyt…. Marc… you hear your girl?

@ Valerie Long
{“Dear Neiman… Please don’t knock what you clearly have no knowledge of.”}

You don’t seriously want to get into a theological battle with NEIM? Do you? I would turn your world upside down. Don’t mistake rationalism for cynicism. I am a connoisseur of knowledge. More so… the truth. The union between man and woman is just a natural one that predates recorded history. Even before there was organized religion.

Let me school you…

As hunter-gatherers settled down into agrarian civilizations, society had a need for more stable arrangements. The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman and one man dates from about 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage evolved into a widespread institution embraced by the ancient Hebrews, Greeks, and Romans. But back then, marriage had little to do with love or with religion.

(to be continued)

Neiman Catley at 3:31am February 27

(continued)

Marriage’s primary purpose was to bind women to men, and thus guarantee that a man’s children were truly his biological heirs. Through marriage, a woman became a man’s property. In the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greece, a father would hand over his daughter with these words: “I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.” Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives; married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while their wives were required to stay home and tend to the household. If wives failed to produce offspring, their husbands could give them back and marry someone else.

As the Roman Catholic Church became a powerful institution in Europe, the blessings of a priest became a necessary step for a marriage to be legally recognized. By the eighth century, marriage was widely accepted in the Catholic church as a sacrament.

(more…)

Neiman Catley at 3:37am February 27

continued…

For much of human history, couples were brought together for practical reasons, not because they fell in love. In time, of course, many marriage partners came to feel deep mutual love and devotion. But the idea of romantic love, as a motivating force for marriage, only goes as far back as the Middle Ages. Naturally, many scholars believe the concept was “invented” by the French. Its model was the knight who felt intense love for someone else’s wife, as in the case of Sir Lancelot and King Arthur’s wife, Queen Guinevere. Twelfth-century advice literature told men to woo the object of their desire by praising her eyes, hair, and lips. In the 13th century, Richard de Fournival, physician to the king of France, wrote “Advice on Love,” in which he suggested that a woman cast her love flirtatious glances—“anything but a frank and open entreaty.”

It seems that your postulation that God created marriage is apocryphal.

(still more…)

Neiman Catley at 3:50am February 27

final continuance…

Too often we just accept what we are told because we are too apathetic to do the research or challenge anything that seems out of place due to its acceptance as the law of the land. Most times we are just fearful of the truth because it is frightening to think that what we thought we knew is just smoke and mirrors.

It is sad that so many of us accept Authority as the Truth instead of Truth as the Authority. Oh, and please… don’t argue the Faith/Truth thing… Faith is the antithesis of Truth. It is simply to believe what you cannot prove whereas truth = proof.

Lack of knowledge… I scoff at your false avowal that I lack thereof.

“cuts it… stuffs it… rolls it… smokes it”

Everyone Struggles

NEIM — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:42:46 +0000

Please Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

What happens in Texas…

NEIM — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:39:34 +0000

(Some names and locations have been substituted to protect the guilty)

This story proves that I fly through life by the seat of my pants. I just love it when things happen (good things) to me or I end up in a place that I could not have predicted 24 hours prior to. Hell, a few hours prior. The story I tell is about one of those nights.

The night starts off Please Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

Good Friday, Good Weekend!

NEIM — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:15:20 +0000

What up people?! I haven’t blogged in over a month! Had one great weekend though, followed by a really good week so I am in a writing mood.Friday was Please Login or Register to read the rest of this content.

New Dedication

NEIM — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:27:58 +0000

The Chinese New Year was yesterday and for some reason I felt a renewed sense of vitality. That was before I knew it was the New Year. January was an extremely trying month for me and I have to admit it has affected me. I haven’t been bloggin, I lost a client for the 1st time, and I haven’t shaved in nearly 2 months!! Not to mention my car got booted and towed (what a mess!). If you have unpaid parking tickets… don’t park downtown! I haven’t even been social. I have sort of disappeared.

Well I think everyone is entitled to a bad month from time to time. C’est la vie. That withstanding I have decided to dedicate myself this entire year for taking the next step in all the phases of my life. By doing so, I hope to inspire those around me to reach for greater things. I’m going to get my writing projects done. Finish my website. Improve upon my business model and solidify a steady client base.

I’m dedicated to this purpose. Let this be written evidence of the commitment NEIM is taking to become great at what NEIM does.