“Start spreadin’ the news…”

I thought I’d share my 1st New York trip with the world… enjoy!

Day 1: The Arrival

August 13th, 2008. I haven’t slept purposely so that I can sleep on the plane. It helps me reduce the anxiety of flying. Its about 9 a.m. and my plane leaves at 11:30ish. I haven’t packed. I just realize that some of my clothes are in the cleaners. I haven’t arranged a ride to the airport either. Hell I just got an ID (lost my old one) 2 days prior. I call moms. She talks to me on the phone still sleep. Then she asks me to get her some special type of Coffee from a store that’s not up the street. WTF! I am forced to agree.

Somehow, we get outta there by around 10:30 and to the airport at about 11. I like to travel in the middle of the week to avoid the crowds. I’m traveling cheap though so I don’t arrive to New York until about 7:30. On the plane ride I got the birds eye view of the Statue of Liberty. She seemed small, but I guess I was high in the sky. At the airport I meet up with ol Kevo and we catch a cab to Hasan’s place. While in New York we stayed with Hasan. Big ups to my homey for showin’ us love.

The cab driver must have been a retired Arab race car driver or something because homeboy was gettin it! We arrive in Midtown, Manhattan in what must have seemed like 15 minutes in traffic! By far the best cab driver I have ever seen. Scary though.

Hasan stays in a great area on 37th St & 9th Ave.

We settle down at Hasan’s. Then we get lucky and Hasan had some chicken he needed to cook so he threw down for his boys. Check it out:[flv width=”450″ height=”300″]http://www.muzzlewump.com/video/nyeatin.flv[/flv]

After we ate we were tryin to figure out what to do. It was wednesday and “Tropic Thunder” just came out. (Check out my review over on XtraButter.com.) The fellas were talkin bout goin to this premier strip club with some hot Dominican dancers. I don’t enjoy teasin myself all that much so I decided to go to the movie instead. I thought I persuaded Kev & Hasan to check it out to, but then they ditched me right at the box office. I guess I’m lame. I just prefer a good movie over strip clubs. Call it what you want.

Day 2: The Jew

Hasan shows us this corner store across the street where they make these great bacon egg & cheese croissants. They were damn good! Its Thursday and I needed to work on the computer while Kev and Hasan went shopping. This became a familiar pattern because I needed to finish up some stuff while in NY.

Fast Forward to later that night. My friend, Hasan’s sister, Chandra’s husband Jameel’s friend the coordinator from “Making the Band 4” was having a birthday at this little Kareoke spot. We were having drinks and enjoying ourselves. Jameel gave his rendition of Prince’s “Purple Rain.” He was rather good. It was funny at the time to me because I had already signed up for another Prince song off of the same album “Beautiful Ones.” At the beginning of the song I was not doing so well. The mic was terrible and it wasn’t picking me up. I should have done a mic check 1st.[flv width=”450″ height=”338″]http://www.muzzlewump.com/video/neimkareoki.flv[/flv]

I kept thinking that if I could only get to the bridge I’d be ok. Once I got to the middle of the song I started groovin. I felt the crowd pick up a little bit and so I started flowin with them. I dropped to my knees in some parts and was on the floor trying my best to mimic Prince in that scene in the movie Purple Rain:

Yeah… your boy was on the floor just like that! Needless to say I rocked the joint after that. I was a drink away from being drunk too. I’m just glad I redeemed myself in the second half of the song.

I joined the crew back at the table and then we took a pic.

*Top to bottom left to right (NEIM, Kev, Tarv, Hasan, Chandra)

*Top to bottom left to right (NEIM, Kev, Tarv, Hasan, Chandra)

After the Kareoke spot Kev, Hasan & I stumbled out of the spot and caught a cab to the next club. Now mind you, I had no picture ID. I had a paper ID and my birth certificate in my pocket. When get to the next spot the door dude is askin me all sorts of questions to prove my age and where I’m from. Askin me shyt like, where’s Pappadeaux’s and Luby’s. I was like, “That’s the hottest spot you can name in Houston? Luby’s?” After the line of questioning he was about to let me in then he noticed the ring I had on my finger. It is the ring I have on in the picture above. Its called a Tricap designed by a French jewelry designer Valou. (Check it out. Say that I referred you and she will take care of you). Dude was said, and I quote “Yo, son… it looks like you gonna stop a fuckin train with that thing on.” I chuckled and gave it to him and his muscle bound friend to hold while I got my party on downstairs.

I don’t know if you’ve ever partied with NEIM before, but sometimes with the right mixture of drinks (usually cognac) I get in what people like to call “Rare Form.” If you ever catch me in this state… tag along because its gonna be a fun time! We get downstairs and some dude likes one of the girls we are with and decides to impress her by buying a round of drinks. I’m like… do it! Now, I’m really in a zone. What zone that is… is up for interpretation.

I find a seat at this random booth and discover a black hat. It is a Jewish style hat. My drunk ass decides to put it on. I’m up dancin around talkin to chicks at the bar with this rather small Jewish hat on. Out of the corner of my eye I see the owner of the hat. I decided to beat him to the punch and offer back his hat. To make it up to him I offered to buy him a drink. He resended my offer and then offered me a drink instead. I was not about to play coy so I accepted.

I introduced myself and he told me his name was Shmea. I couldn’t believe it. This was the first Jew I ever met with a Ya mica on. We had a drink with a couple of chicks and then he said to come with him to get on some hoes. I was like… lets do it Shmea!!

Before we made it out to the dance floor we took a quick break through the other part of the club that was closed to the public. Right then and there I should of known this guy had pull because we walked right past security into the empty bar to pour some drinks. I was really fcuked up now!

We headed back out to the dance floor and Shmea showed off his wild side! This dude was dancin all the way to the ground and sometimes on it. The women didn’t know what to do with him. I was impressed. So then I started goin hard and we were havin a great time. I forgot all about Kev and Hasan. I guess they were getting bored because they came to tell me they were leaving. I was in the middle of grindin on some girl and decided ok.

By the time I walked upstairs Hasan and Kev had already taken off without me. Bastards! I fcuked up my groove. Door dude must have felt my vibe because now he was being cool with me and shyt. He actually used me to holla at this chick sayin I was a Texas start featuring at his party on Saturday. Afterwards he said he’d give me VIP access to come to his spot. I couldn’t figure out why.

I was like, I’m goin back in. I hooked back up with Shmea on the dance floor and he was telling me to roll with him to the Hampton’s for the last weekend of fun. Everything in me was like… do it. But I knew that I had to go to the Yankees game the next day with Tarvia. I couldn’t let her down. So I had to pass. Then I proceeded to dance some more. Caught a cab and then laid it down. I had a pretty damn fun night. Oh, by the way… the Jewish guy Shmea… I found out later that he owned the joint!!

Day 3: Chicken or Beef

In the middle of my slumber in the morning, Hasan orders some more of those croissants. Yum, Yum! I eat it and go back to sleep. Once again I stay at home while the fellas go out and play. I had work to do.

Later that day we were supposed to meet Tarv and Chandra to go to the Yankees game. It was raining. we were debating the entire time whether or not we were going to go. Tarv said to meet her at the corner of 42nd and 6th. That was a little bit of a hike… in the rain. Here is the route.

Let me first give Tarv her propers… her nickname is Tarv “the Great.” Now that I got that out of the way… Tarv had us standing in the rain for at least a frickin hour! We were hollywood’d in New York. Tarv kept sayin she was on the way… but didn’t get there till like 2 hours later. It was cool though, because it gave me a chance to observe the sexy ladies of the city. Wowsers.

I was hungry. We headed back to Hasan’s crib to get some eats. We ordered Chinese although I really wanted Thai. Kev was givin me a hard time talkin about don’t be so difficult. In other words, go with the group. If you know me… I don’t like to follow. I go with the Chinese. I suggest when we order that we share the different dishes. No one must have heard me. Food gets there and I’m in trade mode. I wanted some of what they had because it was actually better. While Hasan was in the kitchen Kev traded a chicken for a chicken out of Hasan’s dish. Hasan had Sesame Chicken and Kev had General Tso’s. Now, later on I asked Hasan for a piece of chicken. It looked as if he was giving me the piece that Kev left in there so I said I wanted a different piece because that was Kev’s Tso’s chicken.

Now… all I wanted was a piece of Sesame chicken. Kev gets all in an uproar saying that I was dry snitching. What?! What kind of petty shyt is that? Why in the hell would I snitch about a fcukin piece of poultry?! Are you kidding. This nigga got heated and then we had a verbal exchange for like 5-10 minutes. Definetly a nigga moment. What am I… 5 years old? Why the fcuk would I be concerned about tellin on someone for trading out a piece of chicken. That shyt was stupid. Although Kev could only see the ignorant side of it. He was so upset that he could not take a step back and assess the situation to see how petty and benign the argument was. This dude held this grudge all weekend over this dumb flightless bird.

So, later after watching some Olympics, I suggested heading over to this spot called Pop Burger. I saw it on the Travel Channel once and I wanted to check it out. Hasan said he wanted to show me this area. It is in the meat packing district. One of the spots he showed me was immaculate! It is called Buddakan. Check out the link. Every room and/or area seemed like a different place. I was definetly impressed. the whole part of Manhattan was impressive. It was my type of area.

We then proceeded to Pop Burger. This place was very eclectic. It was like a lounge bar that features burgers. The front is like a space aged diner where you can order in or to go. The back are was very chic and they were playing that movie “Breakin” on projectors. Near the bathroom they had what seemed to be a picture booth. Alas it was a booth with a curtain with a little TV playing hardcore porn. I was like, whoa… this place is cool. Then I got the menu and saw that the pop burgers cost $15. Pop Burgers are little miniature gourmet burgers. They were good, but grossly overpriced. The drinks were $16 so it was very swank. Fcuk it… it was more expensive eatin, but it was a more pleasurable meal then the chicken, ya dig?

Afterwards we caught a cab back to the crib to lay it down. We had to go to the Yankees game for sure the next day because we were runnin outta time. It was a day game.

Day 4: Extra

We woke up on time and got ready for the game. The Yankees were playing the Royals. I figured they wold clober them. We meet Jameel, Chandra & Tarvia at the ferry. They were coming from New Jersey. We caught a car to the Bronx and to Yankee Stadium.

This is the last season for one of the most storied stadiums in sports history. We had to go to a game before they tore it down. It had a highschool stadium feel underneath the rafters. It felt old. Kev was havin a nostalgic moment saying that he had always wanted to play for the Yankees. I thought dude was about to tear up.

1st we had to get tickets. This is one of the reasons why Tarv is great. She hooked the tickets up at $200 a pop! Yankees game a la Tarv. Our seats were down on the lower level behind the plate. We were right in the shade. While I sat down next to this guy from Connecticut, Kev went lookin for a Yankees hat to buy. That was a pretty good idea now that I look back on it. Have something from the stadium I guess. I will settle for my ticket stub.

The game lacked offense. It was 2-2 goin into the ninth inning. Yeah… we got extra innings. Usually I’d be stoked, but due to my lack of sleep and the hot weather it was dreadful. Around the 11th I started dozing. I went ahead and laid it down the entire 11th and 12th innings and woke up sometime in the bottom of the 13th. Just enough time to see the game winning seeing eye single. Thank God!

Afterwards we took a car to New Jersey to Jameel and Chandra’s house. On the way we were introduced to Singh, our driver. He put on a new song from the Bollywood movie “Singh is King.” It is an Indian film of course. I notcied a familiar voice in the chorus… it was Snoop Dogg! WTF! That boy is featuring in music in India! I was very amused. Here is the video:

Can you believe that? Funny shyt. That’s somethin extra.

When we get back home, Chandra’s parents are there finishing cooking Steak, barbecue Chicken, Sausage, & all the fixins. Man! What a feast! Afterwards Jameel, Hasan and I were seeing who could down the most Crown. Then we all had family time. The house was really nice with a great view of the city across the Hudson. It was a nice night.

Later on inside during the Olympics a conversation broke out. I don’t know how it came to it, but the Athletic Challenge that I issued months ago came up. Kev was talkin all kinds of shyt saying that I couldn’t beat him in any sport! Period!

Jameel was eatin this shyt up. The whole house was amused. Kev was talkin so much shyt that I for sure seemed like the inferior chump. Jameel proposed that we have the challenge the next day (Sunday) at P Diddy’s House. Yes I said it… Puff’s house. He said that he has a tennis court, basketball, swimming, etc. We agree. Before the challenge though Jameel asks for a preliminary push up challenge. We flip a coin to decide who goes first. I win and tell Kevin to go first. This guy can only muster 24 push ups before konking out. My turn. I start banging them out and then they tell me to stop out of mercy once I’m furiously going past 30.

Right then and there I smelled a weakness. I decided not to say anymore until after the challenge. Oh, but Kev kept goin. Sayin something to the effect that he was gonna wipe the floor with me. I let him talk.

We soon left and went back to the spot. The whole time Kev was walking with this swagger like he knew I was inferior to him. I took out my proverbial gas can and stored that fuel for the fight that was tomorrow.

Day 5: The Challenge

This day desrves it own post. I will leave you with a taste:[flv width=”450″ height=”300″]http://www.muzzlewump.com/video/equilibrium.flv[/flv]

I’m Christian Bale.

Day6: Its like Butter Baby!

After Kev left mid-day, Hasan started hypin me up about the night we were going to have. We kinda chilled before hand and just watched the Olympics. Usain Bolt was doing his freakishly super-fast thing! I mean… I gotta show video:

We head out at night to this place called Butter. This is one of the hottest spots on a Monday in all of New York. The restaurant part is on the ground floor. Very nice. Make sure you check out that link up above. We had a group of about 30. There were some heavy hitters in this spot. I won’t start name droppin, but there were a couple of Black Cards in purses and wallets at the table. I had the Colorado Rack of Lamb for an en tree. They brought all kinds of h’orderves and shyt. Little square beets and things. Look at the menu. We had all that shyt.

After dinner, this very sexy Honduran lady made a fit to pay the bill. That bill… was at least a month’s worth of work for me… maybe two. Then we skipped the crowded line and headed downstairs to the party area. Again, refer to the site. We were in the Birch Room area in the back right corner. We of course had that corner section to ourselves. We were next to these models in the next section. We were poppin champaign, Crystals & your normal bottles of Goose etc. I was standing in the booth next to the bodels catching the eye of this beautiful Kenyan model with the shaved Mohawk. I should have gone with her, but then this Amazon of a woman started hollarin at my boy Reggie and I took her Italian friend.

We were dancing our asses off. Ol girl had her hands all over NEIM. It was goin down! We decided to leave and see what it do. I suggested eats, but not before we took a hit of some gunja from one of our homies in the booth. That’s right… sticky icky.

We get outside and I find out Reggie was driving. I was like, cool! Alas… the girl I was with started buggin out. Scenario: 2 black dudes (one of em 6’7″) taking 2 white girls from Orange county to a truck. Sounds like fun to me, but the Italian bird freaked. The Amazon didn’t give a shyt, so I had to play wing man and take a cab with ol girl so Reggie could get outta dodge. I must pay homage to this song: Yo Reg… you owe me a Coors! Lol!

Needless to say I babysitted the frantic darling then caught another cab home.

Day 6: Workaholic

The next day while working on some stuff at Hasan’s trying to shake the drunk off, Chandra hits me on text an suggests I spend the day with the fam. “Do ya have WiFi?” I shot over there with Hasan and spent most of the day in the living room while she slept and I worked on my PC. We ate and Hasan and eye called it a night. Well… Hasan did. It was about 11ish and I decided I needed to really grind so I walked to Starbucks on 42nd St. (Check out the street view) I was there until like 6:30am workin.

While I was there though, the strangest thing happened. These 3 cute 18-20yr old girls walked in and just went to sleep on the window stools. Weird.

Day 7: Lets Move

My last day in the big apple. I try to get some sleep, but I end up gettin up around 11ish. Hasan invites me to get a haircut at his barber’s. We moved out. It was cool chillin in the New York barbershop. It wasn’t that big and was just outside of the busy street. Just enough room to operate. They were watching the true story of the real 50 Cent. This movie was like the ghetto CNN report. Funny.

Afterwards we trotted off to get Chandra and Jameel a birthday gift and cards. Trust me… walking around is story enough.

Later that night, we met up with Jameel & Chandra at this night spot called Taj Lounge. This place was pretty cool. The birthday party ended up being a star studded affair with the likes of Jay-Z and Sarah from America’s Top Model. That was just at our table. Yeah… that’s right. New York was very good to NEIM. I will have more pics from this night soon hopefully. (These are of course googled).

After that night of drinking etc. I decided to not sleep so I could on the plane… didn’t happen. I over slept and realized I lost my bank cards in the cab on the way home. In my drunken haze I didn’t feel them slip out of my slacks! I missed my flight and had to catch stand-by. It was $15 to check my bag which I did not have because of the bank card situation so I had to use my FedEx account to ship my big bag. I was at the airport around 6am and didn’t get home till around 10pm. So, I guess it had to even out.

Last thing… You will see why in the next post of the Athletic Challenge… Kev still hasn’t spoken to NEIM. I wonder why.

New York I love you! Special thanks to Hasan, my brother from another mother. Jameel, your mentoring and hospitality is priceless. Chandra, I’m so proud. Tarv, you’re still great! Hugh & Blyss my surrogate family. I will miss NY, but you know I’m comin baaaack! To stay… to be continued.

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